Racism in the elevator; misogyny in the video production room.

 

I just came across a video I’m pretty sure was intended as a statement of anti-racism. I’m also pretty sure its intention fails. More than that, I think it’s one huge step backwards.

I hate writing anything critical of any attempt at anti-racism.  It’s hard to put yourself on the line. By any measure, it’s much easier and safer to remain silent. But silence is deadly, allowing racist systems to continue operating unchallenged. It validates interpersonal prejudice and bias. We need to have more people recognizing bias and helping others recognize it. And, if they fail in their anti-racism attempt, who among us hasn’t? It’s part of the process; usually I want to celebrate effort.

The video below is an exception, a painful one for me to watch, much less celebrate, and given its popularity (almost 3 million views on youtube alone), I see it as a failure of epic proportions.

The video is not without redeeming qualities. As my Twitter friend Jo Nubian (@beautynubian) tweeted last night, “The purse grab is an aspect of the Black criminal/savage meme that is so engrained socially, its almost unnoticeable.” Anything that makes three million people take notice is worthy of some positive regard, particularly when stereotypes of Black criminality are so widely held, and when the criminal justice system is racially biased beyond repair.

The purse-grab may seem like a subtle act but, it’s horrifically destructive in its, often unconscious, assumption of violence and criminality — in Black women, as well as Black men, in other people of color too. I’m glad someone is calling our attention to it. I just wish it were done in a way that had a chance at being effective and didn’t denigrate women in the process.

The word bitch is denigrating, demeaning, dehumanizing. All that aside, its use reinforces negative stereotypes the video tries to dispel.  My twitter friend, Shulamit Berlevtov (@shuliji) tweeted, “The misogyny I perceive in this video frightens me more than his blackness. I feel nauseous and teary.” I agree. I feel the same way. The video’s misogynistic tone overrides any empathy, righteous justice and camaraderie I would normally feel. After watching this video, I don’t want to hang out with this guy.

I get that he’s angry. I agree that his anger is justified. If this was a real encounter captured on film, I might be willing to attribute his outburst to frustration and loss of control. This was not a real incident captured on film, but a scripted and staged encounter. The man in the video did not utter, “Bitch” out of frustration. He uttered it because the script writer thought the most important or best thing was assert power. I see it as a misogynistic act, more so when I view it in the context of the alternate version (below).

Not everyone sees it this way. Jo Nubian tweeted, though she thought the use of the word bitch sexist, it was justified in this particular context since it came from a frustrated response to being discriminated against. Another popular Black female blogger (@sistertoldja), who I hold in high regard, wrote that, in the context of the video, the word bitch did not imply misogyny in the way the N-word implies racism.  She added, “When that happens to me, ‘bitch’ is one of the words I say in my head, to be honest.” The next day she posted a thoughtful blog:

I think the b-word is one that we need to wield with caution. I don’t mistake female strength or aggression with being a b*tch, nor do I think it’s the appropriate utterance every time a woman does something wrong. When I watched that tape, I didn’t feel like the man was attempting to use patriarchy to reassume power or lash back at this woman. I felt like he called her the same word that I would have used in that situation.

Apparently, it’s complicated. And, I don’t want to remove complexity. Black men and women have a right to be angry about the purse-grab. I think anger and hurt are justified; I wish outrage was shared by every justice-minded person. I live in this world as a white male person, undoubtedly affecting my experiences and perceptions. I am not unaware the voices supporting the video’s message were all Black. The Black community is far from single-minded on this issue, and at the end of the day, I continue to disagree with the strategy used.

The word bitch is painful to a lot of people; literally dehumanizing, it’s a term used for female dogs.  That some women, including @sistertoldja, don’t find it objectionable is meaningful. But, it doesn’t change that other women do, as evident in this short documentary film titled Shh…Bitch.

If we can agree that many women and men find the word bitch degrading, doesn’t that suggest the word should only be used when there’s a shared agreement it’s acceptable?

Such an agreement was not present. In the video, the word was used for inflicting pain. This is supposedly justified; the woman, by grabbing her purse, perpetrated a racist act. But, does being victimized by one type of oppression give the victim permission to dehumanize someone else? Does one ‘ism’ justify another?

The video assumes the woman perpetrated a racist act deserving personal punishment. But, how do we know this to be true? Such behavior usually reflects intentional racism or unconscious fear. How do we know this person was guilty of either form, as opposed to distrust of men, perhaps due to personal history? Does the possibility of personal innocence matter when a racial group has been determined guilty?

This is a skit after all, one whose purpose is to show insidious behavior usually unseen. The woman is a representation of all women who have ever grabbed their purse under such circumstances. The response is not directed at her, but at all women. She is a representation, a symbol. A symbol can have no possibility of innocence.

Still, I object. Most white people today abhor their own racism; denying it, hiding from it, obscuring it. Unless a self-identified white supremacist, they certainly don’t own it. Most don’t want to be the oppressor. And yet, sometimes, that’s exactly what we are. In those times, in all those elevator moments, we victimize others by our actions. But, even as we grab purses or cross streets, we are victims of our country’s racist history and our racist socialization.

I’m not trying to justify the purse-grab or any other racist act, nor do I want to equate impact perpetrating racism to those targeted. Rather, I want to point out racism in general exists because we continue to be socialized into racially biased society. Our social systems continue to support what has been labeled aversive or modern racism, it is certainly a sign of some progress they no longer support explicit racism.

At the end of the day, if we’re going to have a racially just society, it’s going to happen through combined efforts of men and women of all racial groups. Not through shaming and humiliating the oppressor. Call me naive, but in the words of Marshall Rosenberg, “I want to live in a world where everyone’s needs matter, not in one where we substitute one type of oppression for another.”

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